I want to break down,

all apart, all broken, all at once.

sob until I lose track of time,

with tears pouring

harder than the rain in my heart

and the storm raging in my mind.


I want to stop breathing for a moment.

count backwards from numbers I cannot fathom.

eyes shut so tightly

that the world no longer blinds me,

fists clenched so hard

that my fingertips dig into the sweet flesh of my palm

with crimson dripping

and pain oozing

with every passing moment.


I want to shut myself out.

contain the blues in the walls of my mind,

tame the monsters whispering coldness into my ears,

scream louder than my pounding heart

that threatens to kill me

hammering against my chest.


I want to let go

of this world,

of this soul,

of this human flesh.

I want to be at

loss of words,

loss of emotions,

loss of every living element.


I remember recognizing myself

in the shards of my broken self.

it pains to look back now.

it is funny how

reflections change.

it is harder each time

to drown these demons.

so if I jump,

let me sink.



5 Comments Add yours

  1. Read this aloud in a dimly lit room, in a slow pace, and got goosebumps ❤
    Beautifully written ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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