1. We have funny ways of punishing ourselves. While we suffer from loneliness, we run back as soon as we step out of it. It confuses and amazes me that we are capable of such things. But then I see you trying to take a break from life. And the best way to do it is of course, inhaling the soot up from your cigarette. Does it not burn a hole in your soul? However guilty you feel, you succumb to. Just like I do, to a different poison.
2. Just like it is important to hide your sadness sometimes, it is extremely necessary to let yourself be quiet for a while when you feel like you are breaking apart on the inside. Stop expecting them to react to your sadness because… they just won’t… sometimes. And when they do, it wouldn’t be like you expected. It’s okay. You are okay. Or at least you will be, I hope.